For years, my younger son Ian has experienced a lot of difficulty going to bed at night. He has a high sensitivity to noise, and a fear of the dark, which makes it hard for him to fall asleep on his own. To compensate for these challenges, my husband and I would lie down with him until he fell asleep. Now we are working on changing this routine, and helping Ian develop healthier sleep habits.

My husband and I share the bedtime adventure, and last night was my night to put Ian to bed. We started with a warm bath to relax him, and normally we would read together in bed before going to sleep. But last night Ian lost that privilege because he wasnt being a good listener in the bathtub. So at 8 oclock I put him in his bed with some books, attempted to tuck him in, and gave him a kiss goodnight.

The new routine we were trying this particular night included keep the light in his room dimmed, while I sat in the middle of my bed reading in my bedroom. From the left hand side of his bed, Ian can see down the hallway into my bedroom. Ian is convinced he needs to see us to fall asleep. You're probably wondering how the new routine worked. It was not working well at all because Ian was resisting the new change with everything he had.

Everything I suggest to Ian to make this transition easier, he resists. After an hour of psycho-babble and resistance, I decide to follow his energy. If I dont, I am convinced I will surely explore with anger. So, when he says to me I cant fall asleep for the 20th time, I said Then dont go to sleep. Just stay up all night. Dont close your eyes. Keep them open. Ian resisted that idea too, so guess what he did? He went to sleep!

As human beings, we are faced with change on a regular basis. How we respond to change largely determines how happy and successful we are in life. While our relationship with change varies depending on the change, it is still vitally important that we are consciously aware of our tendencies. By maintaining an awareness of how we are responding to change in our lives, we can actively create the life we desire to live.

Below are five ways to respond to change. What is your relationship with change?

The avoider lives in denial about change. He or she is oblivious to change that needs to take place. When change is presented, the avoider will do whatever is necessary to stay away from change. Denial is a self-protection mechanism that protects us from pain. The avoider sees change as painful, therefore believes that if the pain is ignored, it will eventually go away. It is normally a strong external circumstance or person that shakes the avoider up and propels her to change.

The resister often understands that change is desirable, but will still find a multitude of reasons for resisting change. Even when new ideas are presented to help facilitate that change, she will push back and explain why those reasons won't work. The resister is comfortable with status quo, and is often gaining more perceived benefits from not changing. For my son, it is easier to resist a change to the bedtime routine than to face the fears of sleeping on his own, or changing the long standing habits he has developed. Until the resister can resolve the perceived benefits she receives from not changing, she will remain stuck and unable to change.

Similar to the resister, the talker will talk about all the change she wants to make, but rarely backs the talk with action. Until recently, I was a talker when it came to decluttering my house. I would complain about it. I would talk about how important it was to me to simplify and live with less. I would lecture my kids and my husband, but I always found something more important to do. Talking about change is a positive step in the right direction, but without action, change will not take place. Thankfully, I have finally graduated from the talker phase and backed my talk with my walk. (You can follow my decluttering journey on my blog.)

The fizzler can be compared to a sparkler. She recognizes change that needs to take place, enthusiastically plan her approach to change, and jumps in with two feet to take action. She has fire and energy like a sparkler in the beginning, but then slowly begins to fade until she dies out and abandons the change. The fizzler will start again, but will often stop midway on her journey. Sometimes the fizzler is successful with change, and other times she gives up.

The embracer wraps her arms around change. She sees change as an opportunity to do things differently and make life better. She is a lover of learning and thrives well with change. Although she recognizes that change is not always easy, she possesses the perseverance to stick with the ups and downs, the emotional strength to manage her mental mindset, and the attitude to make the most of every opportunity.

Look around you. What changes need to take place in your life? What uninvited change is taking place around you? And what is your relationship with that change?